In the course of your life, you go through many experiences that each respectfully envoke different feelings. The choice falls to you whether you take an experience as something to make you a better person in the long run, or just fall. This is my way of expressing my pilgrimage towards a better life and what I seek from it. My name is Yama, and I just want some insight in my life.
Have you ever had a friend that you told you would be friends forever? Do you still talk to that person? There are a lot of people that you have probably said that to that you don’t talk to anymore. I know I do. There were so many friends that I had in the past where we thought we would be friends for a long time to come, but then we grow apart, sometimes we don’t even notice the gap until it’s too late and the the gap has become too big to repair, and all thats left are bits and pieces of memories of a time you were happy with that person. I personally have had different groups of friends all my life, and while I cherish the memories of the good times, I hate the fact that none of those groups prevailed. Not to say that I don’t have friends that I have kept over the years, but there isn’t a group. I guess you I just have to cherish the happy times I’ve had with people and just move on. It’s weird though, because when I have tried talking to people that I talked to a lot or hung out with a lot at one point in my life, things are different. People lose connections with each other, and sometimes its beyond repair. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you can reconnect very easily and it comes completely natural, like you never spent a day apart. I can only really say that about a few people. It hurts me to think I have lost so many people, but if I left a positive mark that has lasted on at least one person, I think that’s enough for me…
Whether it’s a friendship, a lover, a family member, a relationship is a two way street. To maintain a good relationship, it needs to be a give and take. It can’t just be one person hitting up the other, one person always listening to the others’ problems. It should be both people making an effort to say hi, to ask each other about they’re lives, to be good company, to let each other know what they mean to each other. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, no matter how much effort one makes. If the effort isn’t there from both people, it will never work out…
Note to Self: Strive to be a better friend..
For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I am part of a group. I finally feel cared about by those around me, and I care a great deal for the friends that I have made. Learning about people, them learning about you, just hanging out. It’s weird and different. It’s also a balancing act staying close to the friends that I already have while learning about the new friends surrounding me. Reflecting is a big deal to me, and thinking about the past and all of the friends that I have had in the past. Its sad that you cannot keep in contact with or stay close to everyone you have in your life. What I have realized though is that I cannot control everything. Sometimes people cross paths with you for a little while. I think its like a string, a string of your life. Sometimes your string weaves together with others’, but then they separate and go along to other strings. You can’t always go back because then the strings will get tangled and messy. You can’t always try and fix the tangles and the only thing you can do is move onto the next stitch in the pattern of your life. Only you can control how much strain you put on the string, and sometimes you need to add another string to make yours stronger. In the end, you are the person that will lead the string in the course of your life.